JINGOBÉ, JINGOBÉ, FUCK CHRISTMAS! (XXIV)

Casey McKinnon - "Santa is an Atheist"

Early this year, he thought he'd take a course

I'm talkin' about Saint Nick, of course

Well, he went to college and had some fun

And signed up for Physics 101

He learned of quarks and quasars and photons too

The big bang theory that created me and you

He read a Hawking book that said "God had no course

in creating our dear universe"

Now Santa is an atheist

He found the Christ in mas just didn't exist

How can he continue to compile his list?

Oh, Santa is an atheist

At first old Nick was seemingly confused

So he did some math to see if it could be proved

He thought hard and worried 'til he realized

That Christmas didn't need to be deified

So Santa is an atheist

He found the Christ in mas just didn't exist

He hoped his wife and elves would get the gist

'Cause Santa is an atheist

But with a few more calculations, poor Santa disproved himself!

Oh, Santa was an atheist

Though I'm pretty sure he did never exist

May be nice to pretend, but I have to insist

That Santa was an atheist

The moral of the story is good and clear

You don't have to be a theist to spread some cheer

There may not be a god, but at least we got a tree

The log channel, eggnog, and you and me.